Learning to Ask

Despite the Fear of Rejection

A few years ago, I started my first website.  It was a very exciting time for me.  I was turning a very negative time in my life into a very positive and productive one.  I started the website with the intent of sharing my journey as I fell in love with yoga, became a teacher and brought balance back into my life.  As I blogged, I wanted to offer visitors more, more than just my story – information that could help them in their practice.  So I started researching and writing articles, and decided to start reviewing products on the website.  When I started practicing, I didn’t have a clue what the difference was between a Jade or a Manduka and I was sure that there were many others out there like me.

I didn’t have the money to go out there and buy every yoga mat, block and strap…not did I want to.  I was going to have to suck it up and do something that is audacious and frightening.  I was going to have to email people and ask for their product in exchange for a review- I was going to have to open myself up to potential rejection, again and again.  Now some people might read that and think that I’m being totally melodramatic.  But to a girl, a young woman who is finding her self-worth after three failed jobs – that’s like facing down a huge storm when you’re stick in a dinghy my friends.

Luckily I had two things going for me. I was pretty confident in my writing by this time (It didn’t start out that way) and my parents had taught me enough about professional communication that I could craft the email after a few revisions.  I gathered up all of my yoga stuff and posted some sample sample reviews to my website, this way people could get a glimpse of what my writing was before they said yes or that dreaded NO. Then I drafted and refined my email, and yes, had my parents look over it too.  A second and third set of eyes (especially ones that want to see you succeed even if they don’t understand what you are doing) helps greatly.

With that all set, I…dragged my feet and thought up one more way to make my emails stand out.  I promised never to publish a bad review.  Crazy, right? But I decided that the world had enough negativity and I didn’t need to any more to it.  I was also trying to be a more positive person myself.  So I published it on my website and added it to my email, promising to discretely send any product that didn’t measure up back to the manufacturer – but that based on my researching and selectively reaching out to awesome companies, I didn’t foresee it happening.  And to be honest, it didn’t.

At this point, I couldn’t stall any longer.  I didn’t want to hear no.  Goodness, I did not want to hear no.  I was so afraid.  So I sat myself down and posed a question to my frantic and fearful mind.  I asked “What actually happens if they say no? Does the world end? Will you be physically wounded? Will it hurt your website traffic?” The answer to all of it was nothing and no, no and no.  So that was it.  I sent out the emails.  It happened.  I got a few no’s, a few we would love to but cant, some of the bigger ones said when I get more traffic.  But my world didn’t fall apart because I asked a question and heard the word no.

In fact, I heard Yes much more than I heard no.  I heard yes to the tune of about $2,000 in yoga mats, blocks, clothing, straps and other accessories.  Later on, I’d apply this to books and book reviews and to this day have reached about $5,000 in books.  I heard no, and I’m still going.  Don’t let fear of rejection keep you from beautiful things.

All of those No’s, combined with the many I heard in my day jobs, they all lead me to this moment – starting my own business, being my own boss and making my own rules! Embrace your No’s – It’s not easy, I know, but it’s so worth it!

Go out there and ask for the job, ask to review a product, ask to be published, to co-author an article.  Ask and know that rejection will not harm you if you keep you a positive mind.

I’ll publish an example of the email that I used in my next post!